OEDIPUS YOU MOTHERFUCKER. • I was bullied by this big guy when I was in first grade. Before anything physical, it was always a verbal war. It was a pissing contest about whose dad was stronger. The way I remember it, we were in the center of a circle, and all the kids around us were reacting to everything we said. It started with how my dad could lift concrete blocks, and it ended with him telling me this bullshit story about his dad being able to lift tanks. Well, because I wasn't a fucking liar, I just said "No he can't." And everyone knows going the negative route just kills your chances in pissing contests. So he won. It's been ten years, and I found that bully on Facebook. I found out that he never knew his dad. He was the illegitimate child of some American man and a Filipino woman. She raised him on her own. I'm sorry, Butch. Your dad can't stop tanks, you lying little fuck. I think your mom can, though.